Bikeface

So we're sitting around reading, and just enjoying a Sunday afternoon, while the kids run around the neighborhood with all the other neighborhood kids. Suddenly, we hear Ben screaming his head off. Its kind of a common occurrence, so I wait a couple seconds - if the screaming stops, he's just... screaming - no need to get up. Plus, I am cozy on the couch. If it doesn't stop, well then, I need to get up.

It doesn't stop.  So I get up and head outside to check on him.

Ben: "Aaaayyayaaaaaaaghghghh!"

He looks ok.. there's no blood or broken-looking limbs, or any obvious sign of trauma. He's walking around on his own and not holding any particular part of his body like he's in pain.

Daddy: "What's wrong? What happened?"

Ben: "Dean accidentally ran over me on his bike!"

This does not compute.

Daddy: "You mean you guys ran into each other on your bikes?"

Ben: "Ayyyayyyyyayyaayyaaannn! No!"

Daddy: "What happened then?  Calm down a little. Tell me what happened. Tell me where it hurts."

Ben: "My face!"

Ok.. so something happened to his face. Somehow it involves Dean and a bike, but they didn't crash into each other.

Daddy: "Your face? Did you fall off your bike?"

Ben: "Ayyayayayayyy! No! He ran over my face!"

This still does not compute. I look closer and there's certainly some dirt or something on his face... actually it kind of looks like rubber or grease maybe...

Daddy: "He ran over your face? On his bike? What?"

Ben: "Yeeaaaahhh...huh..ih..huh..ih!"

Still no comprehension. I look up at Dean and Penelope, who are both just staring at Ben. Penelope is on the edge of tears, and for his part, Dean is looking extremely worried and remorseful. I don't even have to ask. Yes, somehow Dean really did ride his bike over Ben's face. I still don't understand, but...

Daddy: "How... did he run over... your face... on his bike?"

Ben: "Well, I was playing a game where I was lying down and pretending to be asleep..."

Daddy: "You were lying down in the road?"

Ben: "No! In the grass!"

I'll stop there. The rest is Daddy and Mommy comforting him and checking him out to see if all his teeth are still intact. He  has a small bruise under one eye now. He's otherwise unscathed. But... really?

We kind of let the kids do their thing when they are outside playing. For the most part, anyway. There's a lot of other kids their age on our street, and it is really just their playground. Sometimes that means hours on end of calmly drawing chalk racetracks on the driveway and the sidewalk, or rolling the same ball down the hill over and over and over again. Sometimes though, it's just anarchy. Lately, it is mostly the latter.

Finding Ben and Dylan jumping on top of the trash cans a couple weekends ago was not too surprising. Finding most of the neighborhood making a mud pit beside our house (using Ben's pogo stick to stir it up) and then flinging said mud at the fence, and the tree, and the neighbor's trash cans, and each other.. also not too surprising. Both activities were immediately and firmly denounced to be off-limits, thereby establishing myself as the neighborhood's resident "cranky old dude".

I'm not surprised when they tear all the leaves off the plants, dig trenches in the flower beds, destroy a plastic baseball bat whilst whacking a cardboard box to pieces, etc. And I've grown used to cleaning up my portion of the "trail of chaos" - putting the mulch back where it started the day - clearing the lawn of rocks and toys (rocks go under a bush where they won't dig them out again, foreign toys go near the sidewalk where the rightful owner will see and claim them - local toys are expected to be gathered and put away by someone other than me.)

This one surprised me though. I didn't issue any decrees that there shall be no more running over of anyone's head with anything. I think it's probably a one-time deal. Certainly they wouldn't try it more than twice...